caylyx kitty and meThis program is very important to me. These cats can make a difference in the lives of so many, if only they had the chance to do so. I can't go into the details of my story. Each person has their own story to tell, though, and these cats always listen.

To better explain the benefits of such a program they would like to share a special story. A story close to their hearts.

Note from John Barger:

Hello, my name is John Barger. I am one of the founders of Fisher Valley Felines and I have a story to tell. I am just an average Joe so I am going to shoot this story from the hip. - Please bear with me while you read this because this is who I am, flaws and all, and even I sometimes get confused when I ramble on with my notes and stories.

Two days ago I had my 38th birthday, and 22 years ago I attempted suicide. Not a fun way to start a story, but the only way this one can be started. So what caused the attempt? For some people this would be a cry for attention, for some this would be depression, and for others it is an unknown mystery. (It just felt right and they cannot explain it) - I am part of the later two in that equation. In my case, when the attempt was made, the "unknown mystery" portion was whispering in my ear. There was something more powerful that day, though. The rest of this story is something that I never talked about.

Three things pulled me back to reality and made me get the help I needed at the hospital. What were they? The first this was my best friend, Cory. Here was a kid I grew up with, the same person I got busted with for throwing pebbles at cars. Well... not me. To this day I still think you did it, Cory, you little booger. :) Cory was someone I relied on and someone I trusted. What was I thinking.?

The second thing was my girlfriend at the time. Now THAT is a whole story in itself, and some day I hope to tell her about it. There are some things that a man would like to change about himself. Back then I did not see it, but over the years I have pieced it together. Needless to say she helped bring me back to reality that night.

The third thing was my kitties. These were the love of my life. Whenever I was depressed or sick they were there. Two minutes prior to the attempt I was feeding them. What was I doing? I could not leave them behind. What can I say... Sorry family - you didn't make the list. (Don't know why)

Over the next few years I tried to put myself in check and the one thing that kept me going during the hard times were my kitties. But why? Let me explain: I spent nights crying only to find my baby boy, Caylyx come up to me and start licking my face and giving me a gentle nudge under my chin. Somehow he knew that something was wrong. He wasn't judgmental, he didn't care what was going on. He knew that I was hurting and his only concern was to be there for me.

At night he slept with me in bed and let me snuggle with him so that I could get to sleep. If my mind was jumping around he brought me his toys. He knew that if I focused on one thing, playing with him, that the day would be OK. The days I felt like nothing mattered and I tried to shut out the world, he refused to be pushed away. He kept coming back time and time again. He knew that it was a give and take situation. By giving me his love I was actually ok, and I always let him feel the same. I was his "daddy", he was my "son" and most of all he was my best friend.

This program is very important to me. These cats can make a difference in the lives of so many, if only they had the chance to do so. I can't go into the details of my story. Each person has their own story to tell, though, and these cats always listen.